Barack Obama announced that he had capped the well after so many days of
spouting oil. He stated, although "I am a weak swimmer, once I got that
tank on my back and descended down a mile, the robots were really
helpful in helping me to stop the leak. I hope I can get this oil off me
or Michelle will never recognize me."
It's kind of funny all those people screaming do something, who didn't
believe we had nobody; no department of oil spillage or 2,200 employees
waiting around for a cleanup job to happen. The government didn't cause
the leak, and I think we did well to have BP sign on to a multi-billion
cleanup fund to compensate victims without using government force, just a
little business-like squeeze. We have got to keep this BP solvent so
they can pay the bills out of oil profits instead of everyone suing
them. I wonder if the people will flood the papers with "Thank you, Mr.
President" letters, but I won't hold my breath. I hope they agree that
the best solution was when three oil companies got together and funded
their own group to research oil spills and develop emergency response
teams.
"Kind of funny," Barack said, "I bumped into Bobby Jindal, the Gov, and
said I haven't heard too much from you recently. You were selected to
follow me after the State of the Union speech to give the other side and
talk about small government and let the states handle their problems.
Ever since they got the picture of you holding up a stimulus check, it's
been silent Bobby, and I playfully poked him in the ribs."
"We probably made a mistake not pushing from the beginning that we had
38,000 people in the Gulf and over 200 boats out there every day, but in
retrospect, our use of the Navy really helped guide all parties to the
best solution.
"So, now what will they pick on - jobs, jobs? We might as well tell them
those jobs aren't coming back anytime soon because the businesses found
out they could squeeze a little more out of the employees and with a
little efficiency, they got the same results.
"I better just keep hammering away on the results of the recovery money.
We made $13 billion interest on the banks but I have got to give George
one-half the credit because he bailed out the first $787 billion and I
doubled up on that. The loans to the auto industry saved one million
jobs they say, and we will come out ahead when we sell this GM stock.
The only loser looks like AIG," Barack said.
"When we start to see the pictures of the equipment coming back from
Iraq and that $3 trillion mistake, and we save an additional $3 trillion
not extending the tax cuts, I think most people will feel better at
election time.
"See ya, Bobby!"
Paul Cunningham lives in Fayston.
