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  • 4 Aug 2015

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The Valley Reporter
P.O. Box 119
Waitsfield, VT 05673

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It's that time again!


To The Editor:

You've seen them, those little black furry things stuck to the road. The black, white and pink mélange is as sure a sign of the coming spring as the robins in the backyard. The pungent odor that can seep through watertight doors. Yes, the skunks are back!

Last night, Lou, our otherwise cute cat, came in the house after a close encounter of the odiferous kind. After abject panic I managed to throw him back outdoors to enjoy his predicament for the remainder of the evening. As I considered my plans for the next morning, I washed my hands in spaghetti sauce (we don't keep an emergency supply of tomato juice handy...maybe we should take this up with Homeland Security), throwing out the meatballs.

 When I got up this morning, after lamenting the waste of perfectly good tomatoes and meatballs, I found this recipe for de-skunking pets.

Warning: Try this at home only when absolutely necessary.
Cleaning solution ingredients:

• 1 cup water
•  1/2 cup baking soda
•  1 tsp. dishwasher soap
•  1 qt. 3% hydrogen peroxide solution
•  1 case beer/wine (optional...you shouldn't need to double this ingredient if you double the recipe)

Pet Cleaning Process: Get one bucket for the solution, one for rinse water, and optionally, one more to wash the little beast in. Get a wash rag and several towels.

 Change into grungy clothes. Get your significant other to help.
Mix the solution, plop kitty/poochie/pick-a-pet into the wash tub, and scrub him with the wash cloth, being careful not to get the solution into his eyes. Dunk pet into the rinse tub...ignoring the open wounds that have suddenly appeared on your hands and wrists. Rinse well and transfer to towels. Rub dry and lock in the boiler room where h/she can dry off in a warm place, without infecting every piece of upholstered furniture in the house.

Drink heavily, then shower.

Gary Crosby



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