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This letter is addressed to:
Dear Key Holder,
Did you key our Volkswagen for amusement, as a random act of vandalism, or is there something we did to warrant damaging our property? We are assuming that this was not directed at us personally.
If dragging your key across the back of our car was directed at us personally, we have no way of knowing who you are, and why we deserve to have our vehicle damaged. Please feel free to contact us anytime so that you can have the satisfaction of us knowing who you are. Otherwise, we will have to assume that you are a true coward that has to hide behind an act of vandalism to express your feelings towards us.
Erik and Lisa Reisner